How to lead spiritually as a husband isn’t about control or superiority—it’s about serving, guiding, and loving like Christ. When the Bible says, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23), it’s calling men to a high and holy standard of leadership—one marked by humility, sacrifice, and grace.

So what does it actually look like to lead spiritually as a husband? Let’s break it down.

1. Lead by Example

Your spiritual life sets the tone for your home. If you want your wife and children to follow God, they need to see you doing it first.

• Be consistent in prayer and Bible reading. Not for show, but as part of your relationship with God.
• Let your actions reflect Christ. Patience, kindness, humility—these qualities speak louder than sermons. (I am a work in progress)
• Own your mistakes. Spiritual leadership includes repentance. When you fall short, be quick to confess and grow.
• Ask what you can do to be a better husband.  This is a big one because when she responds, you need to be prepared to do it and not debate if its realistic or not. Have faith in God that He will guide both of you. If you ask and then don’t do it, you are sending the message, her feelings do not matter.

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1

2. Pray With and For Your Wife

Prayer is one of the most intimate and powerful things you can do together. I did not know this until Katie.

• Set aside time to pray together regularly, even if it’s just a few minutes.
• Cover her in prayer daily—her dreams, fears, health, work and faith.
• Let her hear you thank God for her.

This builds spiritual connection and shows her that she’s not alone—you’re standing before God on her behalf.

3. Make God Part of Your Home Life

Spiritual leadership happens in the everyday moments.

• Talk about God naturally during the day—how He’s working, what He’s teaching you, or what you’re praying about.
• Worship together—whether at church or just with music playing at home.

Make your home a place where God is not just welcome, but central.

4. Serve With Humility

Leadership doesn’t mean lording over your wife. Jesus washed His disciples’ feet. Real leadership means serving first.

• Ask: “How can I support you spiritually?”
• Take initiative to meet her needs—emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
• Create space for her to grow and use her gifts.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25

5. Make Big Decisions With God First

Being a spiritual leader also means taking responsibility for your family’s direction—with God in the driver’s seat.

• Seek God’s will in major decisions—finances, career moves, parenting. (Check out Jimmy Evans –  Vision Retreat) click here
• Involve your wife in prayer and conversation.
• Lead with wisdom, not control. Invite input and be open to God leading through your spouse too.
• Again, include God in everything.

Life Lesson.   Katie and I tried to plan our wedding and the date on our own without seeking God. He quickly reminded us to stop trying to be self-sufficient which put a halt to everything. When we started praying about His will and His time, things went much better. As a matter of fact, God blessed us with a perfect wedding.

6. Surround Yourself With Godly Men

Leadership can be lonely, but you don’t have to go it alone.

• Join a men’s Bible study or small group and be active in your church.
• Get a mentor who’s walked the road ahead of you.
• Stay accountable—spiritually and relationally.

You lead better when you’re being led too.

Final Thought:

Spiritual leadership is less about having all the answers and more about walking faithfully with God and inviting your wife to walk with you. You don’t need to be a Bible scholar or a perfect man—just a willing one.

“The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!” – Proverbs 20:7

Cheerfully in Christ,

Rich